Go Big or Go Home?

Last week, I go home. I feel weird, a bit strange. My parents just did a major renovation that change many parts of it. I lost my dirty ugly green sofas, I lost corner between my bed and my desk, place where I used to write my diaries, crying to trashy love songs, and god only knows what else. But I can't complain. That house aged as old as my oldest brother and never have any refinement since then. It NEED to be fixed. And yes, I can not complain. I'm not feel that bad about that renovation. Now my home have nicer tile and wall, better roof that not leaked when it's rain, et cetera. And I'm not a little girl anymore. Don't be too sentimental. It's my parents' home, not mine. Maybe

Go big or go home. I often heard that words. Roughly translated into: be success, or yeah stay at your nest, do nothing.

Beside all that strange feelings towards my 'new' home. I just realized that I have certain distance with my neighboorhood. I went to high school uptown that quite far from my home, and then I go miles away to pursue my degree. I feel like a stranger in my own village. And too bad, I just realized that now.

I just graduated from my university. Now I'm on my 'liberty crisis' or yeah -unemployed- well I might said that I'm not totally legit to be called that. I am volunteering at an NGO as a researcher. My friends called it cool, my parents does not say so. There is a lot of better things, kid. Yeah. But I feel lost, not because I don't have map, but sadly, I pretty confused where is my direction.

So, go big or go home?

Maybe I should done this first:
Define what is 'big'?
And finding where is 'home'?

Wish me luck